Unhealthy INFP

Is that me?  Do I like to read about other unhealthy INFPs?

So the world is a screwed up place and at one point in time I felt like it could be changed.  I felt like I had an obligation to change it.  But then I learned that a lot of big forces exist that make any big positive changes in the world very difficult to accomplish.  There is my limiting belief.

I’m tired of self-help.  I’m not saying it doesn’t work.  I have been using it as an excuse for not taking action.  I am a coward.  Yep.  That’s me.  Social anxiety.  I’m too old for social anxiety though.

I feel very out of the social loop.  I don’t know how to get back in.  And I don’t want to try to make friends with people who….are…boring?  What a snob.  I am boring, very boring.  But I want to meet the idealists.  I am not putting my idealism to work so I don’t feel worthy of meeting the idealists and there is my catch-22.  I feel too isolated to make a difference but I’m too lame to meet the people who are working on this type of thing.

A big part of me wants to keep hiding out from reality.  So there is that inner conflict always going on.

I don’t know.  Are there any other unhealthy INFPs out there?  Drop me a comment?

Enjoy the rest of your holidays. 🙂

 

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3 Responses to Unhealthy INFP

  1. Cinnamon says:

    Okay, this is one of those blog posts which you read and feel like it’s been addressed to you (or is that considered a symptom of psychosis, depends in what circles you’re in..). I’m not sure if in my case being unhealthy relates with being INFP. I’m in such an unhealthy phase though that I’m not even sure if I’m actually INFP or I’m making that up too. Far up high in my mental bubble.
    I’ve been a self-help junkie for a while now, and while I’m not saying I won’t ever go back there, but for now I’m just soooo freakin’ exhausted. I still want to change the world though, but now I’m trying to accept this as it is, this is how I function. Don’t have to act on it or heaven forbid, make my life worth dependent on it.
    There is this big chasm between what I see others would find acceptable and understandable, and my view on the world lately. But I feel that I’m intentionally blocking myself from expressing it, to avoid the painful confrontation which I feel I just couldn’t make it through.
    So right now I doing both – isolating myself from others while repressing my own idealism. Yay 🙂

    • Sometimes you really do need a break from this stuff. Last year I was really into the self help for a while with EFT and meditation and eventually got very emotionally burnt out. I’m still isolating myself. I’m not strong enough to take on the world or even face the strange looks you get when you talk about anything outside the box just yet.

  2. Thanks for your comments! They made my day! You already made a difference in the world today. Woot! Go you!

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