If I took on a whole new persona could I maintain it?
There have been a few times in my life when I came out of my shell and began to express myself authentically and it eventually didn’t go well. I think for the most part, I know where I went wrong. I have learned something from my mistakes, but I also don’t quite feel that I know if I have what it takes to come out of my shell again and make it go right.
Even when I’m in a group of like-minded people I still feel like I never really find the right time to jump in and express myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m being pushy when I try to jump in. But often if I don’t assert myself a little bit the conversation moves on and I forget what I even wanted to say.
I think I have become socially inept. That is bad.
The friendships that I have had in the past mostly revolved around humor and having some real world thing in common like work or school or a hobby. They weren’t especially deep relationships. Even my best friend, who is a fellow highly sensitive person, is in this category. She doesn’t know about all of the meanderings of my mind and soul. I’ve broached some subjects with her but she just is not wired to be interested in that stuff the way that I am.
So this year I should probably just throw caution to the wind and become a new person with reckless abandon, right?
Well, what I’m doing right now really isn’t working for me so…we all know the definition of insanity right? I’ve got to stop being someone who keeps doing the same thing over and over again expecting some fabulously different results.
Have you successfully reinvented yourself? Tell me about it or direct me to you blog post about it as that would be more time efficient for you. 🙂
Thanks for reading.