I Need Energy

In this post I will whine about my health problems and my various attempts to figure out what is wrong with me.  If you have mysterious health problems of your own, you might be interested.  If not, I would just skip the rest of this entry.

So, I haven’t had a lot of energy for the last few years and it seems to be getting worse.  I haven’t been exercising because that just saps all of my energy for the rest of the day and I cannot even seem to get normal things done after exercising at a moderate intensity level.  I used to have a lot more energy and hike outdoors fairly regularly and such.  I also have a hard time focusing my attention on anything for long periods of time without feeling like I need to take a nap.  Did I mention that when the temperature hits around 70 degrees in my house I get cold?  I have to drink hot water from my water dispenser or I will just want to crawl into bed to try to get warm.  Then I have to pee all the time.  If I don’t figure this out, all of my other hopes and dreams are just delusions.

I have a big HMO as my health insurance provider.  I have told my doctor about these issues.  They run the usual tests and of course all of my blood work comes up in the normal range.  Of course “normal” is determined by testing a lot of people who probably don’t feel very well.  I would like to know what the optimum range is instead eh?  I want to see the blood work results of people who are kicking ass in life.  Wouldn’t that make more sense?  I want to know how far my numbers are from that range.

I feel like I’m circling the drain here.  I’m just hanging in there and trying not to be a burden to people.  I feel like I’m failing at that.

Then there is a whole lot of guilt and shame that surrounds this because everything seems to point to the fact that I should feel normal and what not.  So I beat myself up about this and call myself a lazy slob.

I beat myself up for not eating well enough.  I have pretty much cut out wheat and dairy.  That is difficult because not eating wheat cuts out about 80% of foods that are convenient to prepare and available at restaurants.  People are usually not understanding of your dietary restrictions as well, so they get annoyed and or pressure you into eating things that you are trying to avoid or make you feel like you’re being some kind of diva for not just eating what is available.  That is always fun.

I was going to write about my experiences at a couple of alternative doctors but I think I will save that for another day.  Those kind of descriptions require more brain power than I have to spare right now.

So I talked to my husband about this yesterday and he said I just need to figure it out, be assertive, tell the doctors that I’m really not feeling well, blah blah blah, typical problem solving man type stuff.

So I am NOT looking forward to delving back into the world of mysterious health problems and the doctors who can’t seem to figure them out.  Meh.

So five things I am grateful for – that’s the new thing I’m going to add to the end of these posts – especially needed after all of my whining.

5 Things I’m Grateful for Today

  1. Rain
  2. My warm dry house
  3. Blankets
  4. Acne clearing up
  5. Hot water dispensers
  6. Adam the Woo on YouTube
  7. Cats

Woops, I went above my list of 5 things.

I hope all is well out there in blog land.

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