I like blogging but I’m at a bit of a loss on how to proceed from here.
I mentioned before that I like the idea of progress. I like to watch those reality shows where people change their lives for the better.
I start blogging in hopes that I can change my life for the better and write about it. But then I get discouraged and don’t see a lot of progress. Then I tend to stop blogging.
Time is moving so fast and it seems so easy to just get bogged down in the day to day crap of life and not to make any progress.
So what I keep coming back to is that I want to be some kind of counselor or emotional healer type of person. And yes I will need to define it better than that.
But then of course, I begin to ask myself “Who are you to take on such a role? You are still a mess yourself. You are not good enough to do this. You’re just dreaming. You will need to go to school for 10 years before you should even consider such a thing.”
But I’m at the point now where I don’t really care about anything else. I never really wanted children or a lot of material things. I just want to feel like my life matters and makes a difference to someone.
At the moment I feel very bogged down by my living situation. My husband runs his business out of our house and more business related items pile up here daily. As a sensitive person this really bothers me. However it doesn’t bother him at all. He seems to thrive in chaos.
So I need to sell a lot of his stuff which he insists of course is worth good money and many items must be posted on Ebay. Doing this takes a lot of time and I hate it. It is very draining of the limited energy that I have. Plus Ebay takes a lot of the cash and that is not awesome.
And I am getting off the topic here. Focus Focus Focus.
I was going to list some goals here but I realize that I need to get very specific about everything and do that whole SMART goal setting thing.
Man I really hate goals. I really need to figure out how to use my strengths to keep myself motivated. I get bored doing repetitive things so quickly.
I need to do some serious analysis of what I need to do and what goals I need to set. I really need to figure out how to motivate myself. I need to include a lot more fun in this goal-setting equation or I am going to get burnt out.
I also need a team this time of like-minded people. I have never been good at finding those people and that is probably a big reason why I don’t get as far as I would like to.
Motivation motivation motivation. I will find it.