Observing Relationship Patterns: What is the Point?

Hello Bloggie Bloggers!!

That upbeat greeting doesn’t really reflect my mood at the moment.  I feel tired and discouraged.  I feel like I don’t really exist in the world in any meaningful way.  My internet blog peers seem leaps and bounds beyond me.  Many of you are very grounded and practical, traits which I used to have to some extent but which seems oh-so difficult for me to embody these days.

I can’t seem to wrap my head around this intuitive/sensitive/empath thing at the moment.  I  mean it’s good to realize why dealing with reality is so much more challenging for me than it seems for other people, but am I just making excuses?

So I have to say I really buy into the concept of our soul, morality and strength of character developing over multiple lifetimes.  It just makes more sense to me than any other theories that are out there.  Plus, if you’ve read any books by Michael Newton, or several other hypnotherapists who have delved deeply into the minds of their patients and made startling correlations that can’t easily be explained away, then you might be convinced of these ideas, or not.  I don’t aim to convince anyone.

So given that premise, what am I supposed to be learning this lifetime?  I would have to say that one of the big themes would have to revolve around male/female relations and how they go wrong.  I tend to isolate myself more and more lately, but pretty much all the male/female relationships that I do have a chance to observe in an upfront and personal way have a general pattern: an insensitive, somewhat dominating, perhaps in some cases narcissistic male paired with a more passive, sensitive, perhaps empathic female.

Does that sound like victim mentality?  Is this a good guy versus a bad guy kind of thing?  This pattern is so powerful and I think it directs the course of so many people’s lives in less than awesome ways that I really am at a loss to know how to begin addressing it.  I feel sad.

In my world, men and women seem like they are from different planets at the moment.  Why do they even bother to get together?

So my perception of this is skewed.  Perhaps these relationships aren’t really as bad as I perceive them to be.  These are just people working out their issues in romantic, or more often, romantically dead relationships.  Okay, I am making assumptions here.  I don’t know the details of that.

And here I am off in the clouds contemplating things that I have no control over.  Strong patterns that I see and perhaps that only bother me.

Or perhaps, just perhaps, if I can somehow find a way to break this pattern in my own relationship, there will be some magical larger impact on the world at large, or perhaps just those in my immediate social circle?  Perhaps.

Everyone’s beliefs give their life greater meaning in some way, even if they aren’t really correct/true beliefs.  But perhaps our belief in them is what makes them true.

Okay, I’ll stop with the New Age babble.

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6 Responses to Observing Relationship Patterns: What is the Point?

  1. The_VacillatingPath says:

    “That upbeat greeting doesn’t really reflect my mood at the moment. I feel tired and discouraged.”

    This is a stage of evolution. It is usually called the dark night of the soul. In a sense, you get stripped down to the barest parts of you and then from the darkness you eventually find that you ARE the light you are looking for.

    “I feel like I don’t really exist in the world in any meaningful way. My internet blog peers seem leaps and bounds beyond me. Many of you are very grounded and practical, traits which I used to have to some extent but which seems oh-so difficult for me to embody these days.”

    INCORRECT. We are all on the ladder and no spot on the ladder is better than any other because everyone’s path is so unique that progress results are only applicable and make sense when compared to the individual’s past.

    (There is also a chance that your comparisons are just not sharing their own pain and feelings of meaningless for various personal reasons. So your comparison people very well COULD be ungrounded and inpractical but are only showing the facade.)

    “I mean it’s good to realize why dealing with reality is so much more challenging for me than it seems for other people, but am I just making excuses?”

    It takes time to integrate things. Awareness/knowledge is a first step, but trial and error practice will be required as you find your feet.

    “So I have to say I really buy into the concept of our soul, morality and strength of character developing over multiple lifetimes. It just makes more sense to me than any other theories that are out there. Plus, if you’ve read any books by Michael Newton, or several other hypnotherapists who have delved deeply into the minds of their patients and made startling correlations that can’t easily be explained away, then you might be convinced of these ideas, or not. I don’t aim to convince anyone.”

    Good. It is impossible to convince anyone, you can only convince yourself. I can’t remember which spiritual book I read it from (although I think it was one of Neale Donald Walsch’s…) but there is a concept that when you really START on the spiritual evolutionary path it feels like the equivalent of going insane because you are able to look into the world so much deeper and it blows up every black and white mindset you had previously. It also can be painful because if you are surrounded by people who are still asleep (like I was–and for the most part still am) you feel DEEPLY LONELY. This is part of the process. Much like the need to turn on your own light in the darkness, you feel lonely until you stop looking for approval/validation outside of yourself. Once you only seek it from within, you stop feeling lonely.

    “So given that premise, what am I supposed to be learning this lifetime? I would have to say that one of the big themes would have to revolve around male/female relations and how they go wrong. I tend to isolate myself more and more lately, but pretty much all the male/female relationships that I do have a chance to observe in an upfront and personal way have a general pattern: an insensitive, somewhat dominating, perhaps in some cases narcissistic male paired with a more passive, sensitive, perhaps empathic female.”

    Knowing about your past, either in specifics or just in general themes, will help you to break out of the cycle.

    I was lucky enough to figure out who my past life wife was (I found her in my current life BFF). As BFFs we have always had this wonderful yet terrible relationship. She is the person I feel most comfortable around (wonderful) and yet we have repeating cycles of unhealthy co-dependence that has been stifling both our growth (terrible). It is repeating cycles of clinging to each other and then ripping each other apart. After I gained awareness of our past, I took steps to change our dynamic (because I had to, this cycle HAD to be broken), and eventually we drifted apart and no longer speak.

    It was heartbreaking while it was happening, but I KNEW it had to be done so we could each grow and I don’t second guess my decision. People either grow together, or they grow apart, and she and I were growing in different directions.

    “Or perhaps, just perhaps, if I can somehow find a way to break this pattern in my own relationship, there will be some magical larger impact on the world at large, or perhaps just those in my immediate social circle? Perhaps.”

    When you grow, everything changes. It may be subtle or it may be paradigm shifting, but change will occur. When you decide to change your thoughts it eventually changes your actions and both of those things will change your relationships and the world around you.

    “Everyone’s beliefs give their life greater meaning in some way, even if they aren’t really correct/true beliefs. But perhaps our belief in them is what makes them true.”

    There is no such thing as a “correct belief” as if there was a giant rule book somewhere we should all be following. The only way a belief is correct is if it serves the evolution of the person.

    “Okay, I’ll stop with the New Age babble.”

    This is the correct path for you only if it serves you to stop for now. 😉

    PS. There are a lot of spiritual books out there that can help through this period if you need them–but it would be presumptuous of me to assume you don’t already know of them–but there is gentle guidance out there if you need it. ❤

    – Jacqueline (VacillatingPath)

    • Thanks Jacqueline. Yes the spiritual path can be challenging. I’m just feeling bored with everything around me and am not finding myself brave enough to take action to change things yet. I feel like I’m slowly getting stronger though. I’m trying to stay in the moment and not get so bogged down worrying about the future.

      After a series of very bad/weird/paranormalish things happened to me I was told that I used to practice the dark arts in a past life and that I was burning off my karma from that. I don’t know if it’s true but I do have very dark and violent dreams sometimes that don’t reflect anything in my current life.

      I’m feeling more optimistic today though! Happy Friday!!

      • The_VacillatingPath says:

        I know what it is like to second guess yourself on what you have uncovered about past life details. I went through a phase where what I was uncovering was SO incredible but our Western culture doesn’t exactly embrace those beliefs (not the majority of the population anyway), so I kept thrashing between the overwhelming evidence in front of me and thoughts that I was “just crazy” and making it all up.

        You may already realize this (and I apologize if I am stating the obvious), but that dark arts past life is probably going to keep you on the fence about spiritual/metaphysical things for a while until you evolve into really trusting yourself that you are a good person and have no intent of abusing power again. I think once you trust yourself that you won’t relive those past mistakes then you will start stepping IN TO your power and you will start using it the correct way (I would assume for the betterment of all as a guideline).

        No matter which path you chose, I am honored that you are sharing your journey through your blog. ❤ ❤ ❤

      • I never thought about that, the dark arts business that you talked about, but that makes sense. I have a strong desire to have a positive impact but feel that if I don’t go about it in the proper way or don’t have the wherewithal to properly follow through with things, I might do more harm than good. Before I even got into any spiritual stuff I worried about creating bad karma for myself. I knew I didn’t want to build up any more in this lifetime.

  2. ilonca84 says:

    I like your posts, thanks for sharing. You keep things real! I tend to lean towards the woo-woo side and sometimes need to hear some grounding posts, like yours :). In regards to this post, I have been feeling lately like there is a divide going on, like….a separation of worlds if that makes sense….I am single and just recently dumped the djsjrbrcjkdeffhtsfhjgd-billionth emotionally abusive and/or alcoholic domineering man that I have always chosen and I truly feel I’m never going back. That world is over! ..For me at least. Anyhow, thanks for getting my brain juices spinning!

    • I’m glad you feel like you’re done with the dudu head men. I think once we work out our emotional baggage we no longer attract or are attracted to those guys. I could be wrong though of course. So don’t take my word for it. Thoroughly research those menfolk. 🙂

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