Clarity Not Yet Achieved and Boogers and…

I wish I could say that I have achieved great clarity and made fantastic progress toward my goals.  But that would be a lie.

I have realized that pursuing goals that I’m not really excited about is going to be very very difficult for me.  I have some ideas about things to pursue but haven’t quite convinced myself that they are realistic.

I have also realized that the only thing that is really important to me is feeling like I’m making a positive contribution to the world.  I can deal with having very little money and being in a less-than-awesome relationship easily if I have this.  But perhaps if I worked this out and found a good way to achieve this then the other things will work themselves out as well.  Yes, I can dream can’t I?

So, to give you an idea of my day to day life – hmmm – or not – do I really want to say this?  Cliff notes version – husband and I are in the car having a conversation about what to make for dinner – husband answers “boogers and cum” – and continues to pose this answer to all questions that I ask.  Yes, this is what the marriage of two forty-somethings looks like.  What is that movie “This is 40” – I never saw it – but who knew?

The comedy in our marriage often wears thin on me.  In the beginning I liked it but what do they say?  The things that initially attracted you to someone eventually become the things you can’t stand anymore?

Ha, but in response to the incessant “boogers and cum” response I started tapping on the EFT tapping points on my husband while we were at traffic stops.  HA – how’s that for annoying?  Yes, I don’t care if he makes fun of my EFT.  Ha.  True dat.  I have learned to dish out annoyingness myself these days.  Unfortunately it sometimes backfires on me and he finds an even more annoying way to counteract my annoyingness.  This is less easy for him to do while he is driving or when we are in public.  So I have the upper hand in that arena.

The Helen Keller quote keeps coming to mind “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”  When you’re deaf and blind I guess everything is pretty much a daring adventure.

I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say it’s “nothing at all” but it is definitely lacking in my book.  There are too many ideas brewing in my mind about how to change this.  I need to pick one.  I have to get out of dreamland.

I can say that I have been doing EFT every day and feeling much more positive.  It keeps me thinking about possible solutions rather than problems.  Perhaps metaphysical progress is being made more than tangible progress.  I’m putting things into my vortex.  Yes, that’s what’s happening.

Addendum:  I like to double check quotes before posting them.  So apparently the quote from above is indeed a Helen Keller quote but the “at all” was added later and was not part of her original quote.  If you you wish to know more here is a link that will tell you more.

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