Some Thoughts on Feng Shui

I listened to a few free promotional audios about Feng Shui.  It fascinates me but often sounds so silly.  I guess that’s just my conflicted relationship with woo woo – ness coming out yet again.  It’s almost like magic.  I guess that what draws me to it.

The woman talking about it spoke about how Feng Shui was originally the tool of royalty, how we should treat our homes like our castles and always keep them clean and  beautiful.  She talked about stagnant energy and how it will prevent your flow of abundance.

She even went so far as to say having certain things in certain rooms is likely to cause you health problems.  She said that you shouldn’t keep things stored up in your hallways and walkways because it may cause intestinal blockage.  So my husband is not a very organized person.  His has piled a bunch of things in the hallway next to his office.  Guess what problem he’s been having?  That’s right, intestinal blockage.  Is this a mere coincidence?  I’m trying to convince him to relocate them without mentioning anything about Feng Shui of course.

Anyway, she made tons of suggestions but one that stands out is that you shouldn’t have anything obstructing the doorways to your home.  This will interrupt the flow of abundance into your home.  Always keep those entryways clean and clear of debris.

So, I’ve been doing my best to clear out junk – which often only means putting it in the garage because a lot of it isn’t mine.  But I definitely am feeling better about my environment.  I gots ta get all that energy unstuck.

I should probably go do some EFT.  I get bored too easily.  That is my problem.  I’m always looking for something new.

I hope you are enjoying your Memorial Day 🙂

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To Enroll or Not to Enroll Part 2

I did not enroll yet.  What class was I thinking of taking?  It was a class to become an alcohol and drug counselor.  At the moment I think I can still enroll for the Summer but I have many conflicted feelings about this.

See, I want to see myself as some kind of healer but I don’t have it in me at the moment.  I feel drained by my circumstances, my marriage, my…the list goes on.

I don’t think I could be one of those people who gives hope to the hopeless.  At least I couldn’t be at the moment.  I feel like our society is such a slippery slope at this time.  If you screw up the best course of action, according to current wisdom, is to warehouse you in a super stressful environment until you are released into a world that most likely wants nothing to do with you.  Sounds like a good recipe for mass shootings.

Where do I sign up to update/revise current wisdom and societal practices?  Is that position available?  Oh, I need much thicker skin for that position – which I think I am actually currently developing.  There is my tiny amount of progress.

It seems there are two of me existing in one body.  There is the one that wants to be a good little girl and get straight As and make everyone happy and blah blah blah barfo.  And yes, I’m too old to be writing a statement like that.

Then there is the me that wants to scream WTF is wrong here?  When people say snarky asshole things I want to call them out on it in a not-so-polite way.  But then that would just make me a crazy bitch right?  Being a woman is shit.  That’s not really true.  I would totally hate being a man.

So speaking of being a therapist, have any of you been watching The Leftovers?  If you would like to watch a rather dark television show that explores our societal collective shadow and what seem like bizarre religious beliefs, then you should probably not read this any further.  You should just go and watch The Leftovers.  But just be warned, this show gets very dark – so dark that I was going to stop watching – but then it took a turn to being more hopeful so I got back into it.  I will write more about this later because in my book it is awesome – but definitely not for everyone.

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To Enroll or Not to Enroll

So I applied to a community college, took the extensive online orientation and now have the opportunity to enroll in a class.

I’m really not super confident in this course of action.  I never seem to be super confident about any course of action.  This has pretty much been the biggest problem in my life.

How do you really know if you will be happy with a career field unless you experience the day to day reality of that career field?

Here is a quote that vaguely explains another good reason why I have such a hard time deciding on anything.

“We now live in a nation where doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the press destroys information, religion destroys morals, and our banks destroy the economy.”

~ Chris Hedges

Can’t I just move to my hippie commune where I can spend my days planting and harvesting organic food?

I long to live in a world where people get to do things that make sense.

I know this is not a realistic expectation at the moment.



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Clarity Not Yet Achieved and Boogers and…

I wish I could say that I have achieved great clarity and made fantastic progress toward my goals.  But that would be a lie.

I have realized that pursuing goals that I’m not really excited about is going to be very very difficult for me.  I have some ideas about things to pursue but haven’t quite convinced myself that they are realistic.

I have also realized that the only thing that is really important to me is feeling like I’m making a positive contribution to the world.  I can deal with having very little money and being in a less-than-awesome relationship easily if I have this.  But perhaps if I worked this out and found a good way to achieve this then the other things will work themselves out as well.  Yes, I can dream can’t I?

So, to give you an idea of my day to day life – hmmm – or not – do I really want to say this?  Cliff notes version – husband and I are in the car having a conversation about what to make for dinner – husband answers “boogers and cum” – and continues to pose this answer to all questions that I ask.  Yes, this is what the marriage of two forty-somethings looks like.  What is that movie “This is 40” – I never saw it – but who knew?

The comedy in our marriage often wears thin on me.  In the beginning I liked it but what do they say?  The things that initially attracted you to someone eventually become the things you can’t stand anymore?

Ha, but in response to the incessant “boogers and cum” response I started tapping on the EFT tapping points on my husband while we were at traffic stops.  HA – how’s that for annoying?  Yes, I don’t care if he makes fun of my EFT.  Ha.  True dat.  I have learned to dish out annoyingness myself these days.  Unfortunately it sometimes backfires on me and he finds an even more annoying way to counteract my annoyingness.  This is less easy for him to do while he is driving or when we are in public.  So I have the upper hand in that arena.

The Helen Keller quote keeps coming to mind “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”  When you’re deaf and blind I guess everything is pretty much a daring adventure.

I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say it’s “nothing at all” but it is definitely lacking in my book.  There are too many ideas brewing in my mind about how to change this.  I need to pick one.  I have to get out of dreamland.

I can say that I have been doing EFT every day and feeling much more positive.  It keeps me thinking about possible solutions rather than problems.  Perhaps metaphysical progress is being made more than tangible progress.  I’m putting things into my vortex.  Yes, that’s what’s happening.

Addendum:  I like to double check quotes before posting them.  So apparently the quote from above is indeed a Helen Keller quote but the “at all” was added later and was not part of her original quote.  If you you wish to know more here is a link that will tell you more.

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